my darling, i can't tell you this to your face, because you might think i'm crazy. i believe we are both lost vessels from the same dimension. that's why we both feel out of touch with this time and place, and it explains why we can't stay apart. we know instinctively that we have to look out for each other and ensure we're okay, even if it can drive us up the wall. the place and time we met in was chosen perfectly, by something higher than us that i don't understand very well yet. don't you think it's beautiful? but the prospect is not as beautiful as yourself. i love you endlessly and unconditionally. my love for you drives me mad, but the love itself always throttles the madness in the end.

each treasured memory i'm blessed to have of you is kept safer than all the others. i will write what i can remember here, because the more i forget, the dimmer the light within me glows. no matter what happens, i hope our souls can take care of each other forever.


october 2020. we were spending a couple of hours together during our free time at college. i was trying to lead you to a park, but in my typical fashion, i walked the wrong way and it made me a little bit nervous. this is the first time we held hands. the look on your face made me melt. i had never felt more secure in my life before this point.

during our first round of being together, we would go on trips to the shop and back, and we would always make each other laugh so hard saying the silliest shit, that we would be breathless halfway there. we made a habit of it, which persists to this day when we walk long distances.

i feel like the woods are so special at this point that i should keep those memories sealed in my mind, where they can't be degraded into the limitations of this earth's words.

the phone.

we laugh on there as often as we cry. no sound has given me more comfort than your breath as you fall asleep. even the smallest little bits of your life i hear over the phone have given me a lot of joy.


we've watched movies in an empty college room, at your desk, on my bed. the closeness of our bodies and minds could never be replicated by anyone else in my life. i don't think you will ever understand just how precious you are.

more to come.